Whuzzzup?!

Today N and I went swimming, and this is the second time I have gotten nasty looks from people who can't seem to mind their own business when it comes to my tattoo on my back. I wear a one-piece swimsuit so it's not like I'm being a whore and prancing around in a triangle top skimpy bikini. (Not that there is anything wrong with that... more power to those that feel comfortable wearing those! I just like the word "whore" and "skimpy"... sue me.) Anyway.. it makes me want to get about 12 more tattoos. Inspiring right!? Here is a picture of my not fully completed tattoo... Maybe that's why everyone is looking at me rudely!!! haha...

N also started his own blog! Apparently he wants to be like the cool kids... so check his out here. :) I had no idea that he wanted to start one. Boy oh boy does he know how to surprise me. :) I love him. We also decided that we're going to go to Disneyland soon. If you want to come with us, you're MORE than welcome to! Leave a comment below and I'll be sure to get you the information of when and where. :) It's going to be a grand ole' time. Disneyland is our favorite place, and we can get it for pretty damn cheap ($$300 a person). Who doesn't want to go here?! Paradise Pier in California Adventures... :) (N took this picture.. he's so awesome.)

Well... I'm off to bed. Goodnight!

...Quote...

I found this WONDERFUL AMAZING SPECTACULAR quote on someone in Singapore's blog! So I thought  that I would share it! :) 


"When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works because not only does it settle the question for you, but because, in that brief moment that the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you are hoping for."


Please leave any comments below with your thoughts... THANKS!!!

Dear Alaskan Reader(s)...

I see you, but I don't know who you are. Thank you for reading my blog frequently.

:)

Tension+Stress=NO BUENO

I feel like I'm pushing people that I love and care for deeply away. It's starting to scare me. I feel like I pushed my Mom away, when I moved home and everything of mine is now controlled by her (I'm trying really hard to stay sane). Then at work, my coworker is pregnant and she's due at the end of January and I will be doing her job in addition to mine when she's on Maternity leave.... so I'm stressed about that. Then I keep bringing up THIS (click here) subject with N, and I think it's stressing him out and creating some serious tension in our relationship. Ugh... why do I have to be girlie and just want to get engaged already?! I need something new to talk about in my life. I need less drama and more of whatever is the opposite of drama.

Wordless Wednesday #5: YOU WILL BE MINE!!!!

Dear Frequent Reader....

I have one person... maybe a small group of people following my blog. Oh boy oh boy don't I feel special! ;) I would just like to say how excited I am for Christmas to get here!!! I can't wait for N to see the presents I got him, and I hope that he loves them all! But I doubt he'll love EVERYTHING. :) My family got "Family Pictures" done yesterday... and it's inspiration to lose weight once more. I HATE this constant battle I have with my body image. It's not fun. I hate going back and forth with loving/hating my body. I just need to find acceptance once more. Here are a few pictures... I think they are cute. :)

N was there the whole time.. so when we were finished I asked my cousin D to take a couple pictures of N and I. I think they look like engagement pictures. My Mom was half tempted to give me her ring as a joke. haha... 

I love him. He is seriously so good to me... and puts up with so much crapoli!

On another note... If you need your pictures done you should contact Dan Amezcua. He can do an amazing job for you! Whatever your needs may be! Check him out HERE! :) 

Conference in San Diego

So.. I'm currently at a business conference in San Diego, California. I've been here since Sunday, and I was ready to go home when I got here. It's sort of pathetic how much I miss being home, how much I miss N, and how much I miss being with people I actually know. I'm one of many at this conference and I'm having a hard time with all these strangers that surround me. N was going to come with me on the trip, but when it came down to it the flight was too expensive. :'(

Lately, the talk of marriage has come up A LOT. In the past it has always freaked the crapoli out of me, but this go around I'm not lacing up my tennis shoes and preparing to bolt. N told me last night that he can't lie to me. "YES!!! SUCKER!!!" was my initial reaction... but after having all day practically by myself I decided that this is the best (and scariest) thing he's ever told me. I absolutely adore him. He makes my world go round, and as mushy as that is to say... I think he feels the same about me. ACTUALLY, I know he feels the same. :) Awe.... precious right?!

So with all the time I've had to think and go through things in my mind, I've come to the conclusion of MORE goals I want to achieve, and MORE things I want to do with my life. I want to start doing (....at least training) for triatholons. I think it could be quite the accomplishment if I could just do this once. So tonight I got on the treadmil and then the bike. Unfortunately I didn't have my swimsuit of I would have done that too :)

Well I'm going to get some dinner.. and then I'm gonna call my lover.. talk for 2 hours (which will seem like 30 minutes) and then hit the hay. I am so excited to come home tomorrow and see the snow! :)

Love you all!

XO

♥ ♥ ♥ ...I love my life... ♥ ♥ ♥

I just want everyone to know how much I really do love my life! No matter what sort of crap I have to deal with, it seems like everything always works out for the better, and everything just falls into place! I've been dating N for 7 months in a couple weeks! It's crazy how fast time has flown! We've done so much together, and we've grown up a lot too! It's mind boggling. (Or mind bottling if you're a fan of Blades of Glory). N and I have talked about our future together and it looks promising (how promising? Just click here... if you really need a hint) :) I absolutely adore him, and think that we would have a great life together.

My career in the last year has taken off! I went from being one of many receptionists trying to get their turn in the spotlight working 26 hours a week, to someone with their own office, their own email address, their own business cards, and working full time! I'm important enough to be flown out to a training conference in San Diego, and I don't have to pay for anything! All expenses are paid! I'm a big girl now!!! WOW! It's insane! I'm so grateful for the people I work with (minus a couple). They are amazing, inspiring, and influential to me in more ways than one, and a simple "Hey you're awesome!" doesn't get the point across.

My coworker A and I were talking about how much we love our parents, and how they are SOOO much more to us than our "parents". They're our buddies, our friends, someone that we can look up to, and someone we can just hang out with. (Not to mention they buy us things!!!) I am so glad that I have an amazing relationship with my Mom and Dad. I feel like no matter what I do with my life, and no matter what I say, they will still love me. I wish everyone had the relationship that I have, with their parents.

This past little while, I've been super stressed out as my sister (K) told me that she wanted out of our apartment, and when I asked why--the answer was something I can not control. My sister has issues with our roommates Boyfriend. He IS rude, selfish, bossy, and an all around dick, but that's just how he is! Take it or leave it. My sister would rather leave it. Leaving me to either find another roommate, find someone to take over my lease, or make our current roommate find somewhere else to live. The only person I want to live with is MY Boyfriend, N, and that's not going to happen (at least not any time soon). I asked our roommate to find somewhere else to live. Which then created all this fighting, tension, and unnecessary hurtful banter which resulted in everyone not speaking to one another. It's completely awkward in my apartment when I come home, or when she's home, or when K's home. One of us is usually cooped up in our separate rooms while the other person is out in the family/dining/kitchen area. Can I just tell you that it freakin sucks? I can't even enjoy my apartment, and my roommate. I just want an apology for things that were said that were hurtful and for how the situation was poorly handled... but I feel like I have to be the one to say it first. And I'm not sure I want to. This is the one aspect of my life, that I'm not happy about. I'm the type of person that is proficient in finding ways to deal with confrontation in an effective manner... but this situation just blew up in my face, and I lost my temper. Maybe I should apologize for that. hmm...

Next topic... My diet (or lack there of) and exercise plan... :P BOOOOO!!!! I can't stick to a "healthy" diet to save my life. Working out on the other hand is awesome! I'm beginning to enjoy it way more than before. I'm getting to the point where I want to start swimming again, and I've discovered the "Cardio Cinema" at most Golds Gym locations. It is a wondrous invention! Before I know it, I've been speed walking for 45 minutes! I love it! I've been working out with my trainer Liz, and she is INTENSE! Holy moly! She makes me so sore... that I can't workout for 2 days, and that I have a ridiculously hard time walking up the stairs. So it sucks when I finally decide to go home, because I live on the 3rd floor. haha... But I figure that my diet will come in time, right now I'm just focusing on the exercise part of getting healthy. At least that's how I'm justifying it. ;)

OHH!!! I'm going to change my hair color on Monday. I've always and forever have been a blonde, and I'm changing it to this.... What do you think? If I hate it I'm going back blonde ASAP.

Here are a few of my favorite pictures that I have neglected to post on here of N and I. :)

Nightmare on 13th with Ally and KevinG.. :)

The very next weekend we went back with N's best friend B his beautiful wife W, and W's sister R and R's boyfriend... It was SOOO fun! The second time, was so much scarier for some crazy reason!

N and I in Anaheim waiting for the Shuttle to take us to Disneyland the first day!! It was a long day of driving, but it was so worth it to get to Disneyland when we did! It was WAY too much fun for two people to have!

This is my favorite picture from our Disneyland trip. We were sitting down, waiting for our Fast Passes to be valid, and we had a photo shoot. It was so fun, and I couldn't stop giggling and laughing the whole time! I love him! He's the nicest guy, and will bend over backwards for you.

Wordless Wednesday #4: Stressed...

I'm on my way!!

I met with my personal trainer Liz, on Tuesday of this week and have decided that this is the best decision I could be making for me at this point in my life. I feel like it's what I'm supposed to be doing, and I feel really good about it. I'm staying motivated, and am working out and eating like how she recommended. Staying below 1200 calories a day is ridiculously hard, when you work an office job, and have the desire to snack on everything in sight... :( Oh well, what do ya do!? YOU CHANGE!!! Sadly, my pants are already fitting a little bit looser, and I just feel better. I don't know how else to describe it! I want to look like this one day... in the next year... :) Curvy, toned, and absolutely stunning.

A little bit about my life.... Next week my office is going to be SOOO empty! Everyone is going to Hawaii, and I get to stay behind and "hold the fort" as my bossman likes to tell me. We recently moved to a new location, and we've been fixing it up by painting, adding bead board (for those that don't know what that is here's a link... BEADBOARD) and arranging new furniture and organizing everything! It's been quite the challenge. Anyway, we've had this guy come in to do all our painting and all our updates, and he creeps me out. I'm not sure if it's his personality or if he is legitimately creepy. My concern is that while everyone is partying like it's 1999 in Hawaii that I'm going to be alone with this dude in the office. :S

Anyway... I'm done. I hope you enjoy the links :)

Wordless Wednesday #3 (Even though it's thursday...)

Wordless Wednesday #2 :: Rings

Wordless Wednesday #1 :: Ferris Wheel @Disneyland

Sewing & Photography

I have an adorable pregnant coworker, and within a 5 days of finding out she was having a girl she also put together a quilt for her unborn baby. :) Which in turn inspired me... As she was showing me the pattern and the fabric she used and was explaining to me how she made it, I wondered where the heck my sewing machine was. As soon as I got off work, I went over to my parents house that night and dug through all the boxes with my name on them, and after much trial and tribulation I finally found it! MY SEWING MACHINE!!!!! :)

I then went over to Barnes and Noble and bought these books!

Now I plan on making some pillows, quilts, purses, and maybe even some clothes. :)

So after looking through these books, and stalking some random people's (whom I don't even know) I want to pick up my photography again. I used to be really good at taking raw-unedited pictures. Here's one of my sister that I didn't edit ONE SINGLE THING...

Now once I'm done editing... they look MUCH better.. SEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Moral of the story is... I'm going to be more creative. I'll post my projects and photography on here so whomever is reading this, can critique it. :) Farewell for now, my love.

Manipulate my mind to give my dreams the reality they deserve

I've decided that it's time to manipulate the keyboard more often, by releasing my deep dark secrets and most intimate thoughts into cyberspace. I watched the old movie "You've Got Mail" starring Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks, and it reminded me of the 'old' days when it was cool to use AOL dial-up. With computer modems holding more memory and achieving wireless internet speeds in the blink of an eye, don't you sometimes think we've lost ourselves among the technology? I believe that my mind has focused on other things, and I've lost my goals for my nearing future, my schooling, and my career. Here is a quote from that movie... It's something that Meg Ryan's character says,

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void."

Well, after watching that movie and hearing that quote, I'm done beating around the bush. I am just going to come out and say what is screaming at me in the back of my mind... I AM NOT BRAVE! Sadly, I give up and wave the white flag of surrender when anything gets a little too tough for me. I believe that it's damaging me. I can't for the life of me find the motivation I need to stick to a healthy diet, work out on a regular basis, and budget budget budget my money! I've lost my dreams and desires for what I want my life to be when I 'grow-up'. I want to be a brave soul. I want to be a fearless dreamer. But with trying to pay off credit card debt, living on my own, working full time, and other neccessities of life... I can't seem to find the money to go to school for the last 3 semesters. I want to go back... But I don't have the financing. The horrible thing is that I THINK that I know what I want to go to school for, but then my mind swiftly and abruptly changes to something else in a different field. My life is boring, monotonous, and somewhat selfish. In reality, my life simply tiresome. I want to be one of those people that have a million and a half projects going on in their lives. They seem busy, and have a plethora of money. I believe that from now on I need to find that desire to acheive my wildest dreams and be fearless while doing it. After all, I deserve it. And so do YOU! :)

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