Tension+Stress=NO BUENO

I feel like I'm pushing people that I love and care for deeply away. It's starting to scare me. I feel like I pushed my Mom away, when I moved home and everything of mine is now controlled by her (I'm trying really hard to stay sane). Then at work, my coworker is pregnant and she's due at the end of January and I will be doing her job in addition to mine when she's on Maternity leave.... so I'm stressed about that. Then I keep bringing up THIS (click here) subject with N, and I think it's stressing him out and creating some serious tension in our relationship. Ugh... why do I have to be girlie and just want to get engaged already?! I need something new to talk about in my life. I need less drama and more of whatever is the opposite of drama.